Now, I’m here,

At the beginning of my life I was a blank page.

At the age of two I got my head stuck in a wooden gate.

At the age of four, I decided my calling in life was to become a deer.

At the age of eight, my teacher hit me on the head with a wooden ruler.

At the age of twelve, I was bullied for wearing a bright green Kipling backpack.

At the age of sixteen, in my first pair of Gucci heals I walked straight into a lamppost.

At the age of seventeen, I created a masterpiece and got kicked out of art class.

At the age of eighteen, I watched my car slowly drive itself into a wall.

At the age of nineteen, I decided my calling in life was pure math.

At the age of twenty, I just realised, I’m wrong.

Now, I’m bored.